November 19th, 2008 — Bono Hate
I thought I’d seen it all, folks.
I thought I’d seen the true devotion of the creepy Bono fan. I thought I’d seen the pure depravity of a dedicated U2 lover.
I was wrong.
In my surfings for fresh anti-Bono material I came across something… something I’d never even stopped to consider the existence of before.
SEXY BONO FAN FICTION.
It turns out that there’s a plethora of this stuff out there. In fact, there’s a whole forum dedicated to it on this U2 Fansite.
But grand prize for burning a nightmarish scenario into my cerebral cortex goes to Carrie Anderson, author of Heartland Bono Fan Fiction.
Continue reading →
November 19th, 2008 — Bono Hate
I love The Onion.
News in Brief from Issue 43.11:
Bono Outbids Everyone At Charity Auction For Bono-Autographed Guitar
LOS ANGELES—During a Keep A Child Alive charity auction last Friday, U2 frontman Bono paid $575,000 for a guitar signed by the Irish recording artist, outbidding his nearest competitor by nearly $500,000.
“Not only does this allow me to donate to a cause in which I very deeply believe, but I now own a unique and valuable piece of rock and roll history,” said the singer, who also placed the winning bid on a “once-in-a-lifetime” lunch with Bono at $1 million.
Bono reportedly listed the autographed guitar on eBay the next day to raise money for Amnesty International, and within 20 minutes, had placed the highest bid at $750,000.
Gold.
November 19th, 2008 — Bono Hate
September 15th, 2008 — Bono Hate
Australia’s own Chaser news crew (they’re kind of like our ‘The Onion‘) had this article up a while ago, but I think it’s worth a revisit:
“For many years, my people and I have felt ignored,” said Eric Mbeke, 13, of Ethiopia, with what later proved to be his last breaths. “But now that Bono has taken up our cause, we know that not everyone is ignoring us, just the people who are in a position to do something about it.”
Oh snap.
September 11th, 2008 — Bono Hate
We’ve all been given some sweet (but temporary) relief from a new U2 album seeing as it’s been delayed until next year.
Bono couldn’t wait to give you a preview of his insane wanktitude at U2.com though.
“This is our chance for us to defy gravity once again,” explains Bono, calling in from a break in recording sessions in the south of France. “We have what it takes, we have the songs, new rhythms and a guitar player who is not ready to re-enter earth’s atmosphere until he’s taken a slice of the moon!”
For the love of God. Is he done yet? No?
Shit.
“We’ve hit a rich songwriting vein,” he explains. “It gets a bit dark down here but looks like we’ve found diamonds not coal.”
Can someone make him stop it? Please?
He also mentions that the recording in Morocco was the first time the band have worked in a studio open to the sky: “On that track you can hear the sound of a swallows nest close to the building - it’s beautiful.”
I’m gonna go gas myself in the garage.
