Well, I’ve come home from a drinking session and I think I’ll attempt a drunken post.
What’s that? What’d you say? Of course this isn’t a good idea, but it’s my website so I can post whatever drunken anti-Bono rants I like.
Know why? I own this shit, motherfuckers. I declare myself the Interweb’s premier Bono hater, and I defy anyone to step to that. I’ll be hating that Irish punk bitch until he stops being a soulless corporate sellout (read: when he’s dead). I’m not convinced I’ll stop hating him at that point either, though.
Uh oh.
I’m running out of drunken steam and I’ve totally forgotten my point.
Oh yeah, I hate Bono. That’s what I was getting at. I’d like to punch him in the fucking face and turn those glasses into contacts. Too harsh? You be the judge. Or alternatively, you can hypothesize about what kind of violence you’d like to imagine yourself visiting on BonBon.
*Special note to Bono’s Lawyers: If you’re reading this please note the use of “I’d like to” and “you can hypothesize“. You can’t police my fantasies, you fucks.*
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3 comments ↓
Wow its about fuckin time some started this website.
I am there with ya buddy i am sure if i saw this cock in the street i would club him to death with a 7 iron.
I was busy hating boner on youtube (well outnumbered, that’s how much this mental illness has spread, now i’m banned from quite a few boner youtube vids) & i typed in ‘i hate bono’ to a search engine and VOILA!
At last people with their eyes/ears open & their heads screwed on.
however, I hate boner more than any other living being hates him, and that’s a fact.
Should i get the opportunity………………………
first;i’d put my thumbs through his stupid, ridiculous posey bastard shades & deep into his eyes, rendering him blind.
second;i’d burn off every hair on his body, taking care not to jeapordise his life (i need him for stage three), i would then proceed to casually dislocate his shoulders.
third;i’d tie him to a chair and grow bamboo up his arse, then as he was nearing death, i’d kick him around shouting “are you the messiah”?
more vicious kicks to his vital organs liver/kidneys/spleen e.t.c.,
“are you the messiah”
full force strike to the chin, shattering his jaw.Now patiently waiting for him to regain some semblence of conciousness
“are you the messiah”?
He spills his guts, explaining his prime motivation was only ever just for more money/stardom, and was happy to be used by the elite of the world as a steam valve, so people who genuinely care about their fellow man think they’ve got a say in things, a ’spokesman’.Thus neutralising most other opposition.
He goes on to confess his ‘lust’ for little boys.
Disgusted beyond comprehension, i vomit in my mouth, but swallow it down, i’ve got work to do.
Dispite his wailing,beseeching cries for mercy, the image of poor third world people is forever in my mind.So i continue, smashing every tooth out of his head and snapping in his rib cage at just the right angle to fold in and puncture his lungs.He mumbles, mouth dribbling with blood.But to no avail!
I then nail him up on a cross and tell him ‘you got what you wanted’.
I hear him gurgling his own blood.I turn away.
On my departure i calmly say
‘you should have listened to your mother when she told you’
“people HATE hypocrites,Paul”.
P.S. I’m not usually a violent sort of fellow, and generally try to avoid fighting if possible.
When i see that ‘up his own arse twat’ i think of the REALITY of the situation (people starving to death e.t.c.), i start grinding my teeth, longing to get within striking range.
OH, GOLLY GOSH, HOW I HATE BONO
I WANT TO TWAT HIM WITH A SHOVEL-O
HIS FANS THINK HE’S CARING AND BRAVE
IF HE GOES FIRST I SWEAR I’LL PISS ON HIS GRAVE
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